Religion Be Gone!

At least that’s what the bible says, more or less, and I’d like to emphasize that point with this humorous photo.

Thanks to Neece at Heaving Dead Cats for the image!

General dinner, obedience, satan, woman, wtf

I just saw this cartoon on Pharyngula and couldn’t help but pass it along. Calvin and Hobbes was an awesome comic strip in many, many ways. This was just one of them… childhood insight.

General calvin and hobbes, god, santa

I’ve not read Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life, but after hearing this bit from Bill Maher, I may have to go pick up for the entertainment value. Then when I’m done reading it, I can shelve it in my library right next to Aesop’s Fables… except maybe then someone would think that it was appropriate for children. Probably best if it gets shelved next to the bibles and the Koran. Then there won’t be any doubt.

And people actually BUY this kind of stuff? And by “buy” I mean “believe” and “take seriously.” I think the last person anyone should be taking life advice from is a bigoted homophobe. Oiy!

General bigotry, bill maher, Christianity, homophobe, purpose driven life, rick warren, wacko, wtf

Here’s the best rationale I’ve ever seen for why God lets bad things happen to good people (I mean, if he actually existed). It’s the best rationale because it’s actually consistent with God’s behavior in the Old Testament… and the New Testament if you really get into it.

I’d love to give someone credit for this image, but I don’t know its source. Apologies to the creator (small c creator… not… oh nevermind).

General bad things, god, good people, wtf

This was just sent to me. I don’t know the source so, sadly, I cannot give credit where credit is due, but whoever took the photo and added the caption is a bloody genius!

General satan clouds

Statistically speaking, for something that naturally occurs 50% of the time, praying for it will make it actually occur… (wait for it)… 50% of the time! And for something that naturally occurs 10% of the time, praying for it will make it occur… (you know it’s coming)… 10% of the time! That rule pretty much holds true for any percentage… even zero… like when someone prays for angry griffons to descend from the sky and devour those pesky atheists.

“The hard work of one does more than the prayers of millions.”

General prayer, religion, statistics, wtf

I played Portal for the first time last weekend and got the silly idea to re-do the Enrichment Center icon panel. If you haven’t played Portal, you won’t get it… probably.

General

Any time an omnipotent, invisible being has a child (who is also himself) and sends him(self) to Earth so that he can tell everyone about his father (who is himself) and get them to worship him(self), in order to eventually have him(self) persecuted and killed in a bloody, horrendous manner, and then have him(self) resurrected in order to magically create a  ”belief for forgiveness” trading post in the sky, really deserves nothing but reverence and respect, both intellectually and spiritually.

*cough*

So in the spirit of treating “serious” matters seriously…

Q: What did Jesus say while he was being crucified?

A: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh…

Q: What’s the difference between Jesus Christ and an oil painting?

A: You only need one nail to hold up an oil painting.

Jesus walks into a hotel. He hands the innkeeper three nails and says, “Can you put me up for the night?”

I don’t want to break a commandment and say that these are my jokes. That would be lying… which, in this case, wouldn’t technically be “bearing false witness” against my neighbor, but even so, I’d rather give credit where credit is due. These all came from Liberator.net page of Jesus Jokes and Pictures.

When it comes to joke material, religion really is pretty much a bottomless bucket.

Catholicism, Christianity, General Christianity, crucifixion, god, jesus, joke, resurrection, wtf

The Flying Spaghetti Monster and his noodly appendages is divine.

General, Pastafarianism flying spaghetti monster, fsm, god, pastafarian, russell, teapot